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DD's of 2005 by krissimonsta


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December 19, 2005
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Poetry entry for the Merry Litmas 2005 DA contest. (Took 3rd place.)

(Update: a big thanks to coshdaddy for featuring this poem as a Daily Deviation!)
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Daily Deviation

Given 2005-12-28
The wonderful imagery and tight, well-executed metre is what put Christmas-time by ~bbd127 into the rankings (3rd place) of the Merry Litmas contest. Take a tumble through this cheerful chronicle of Christmas spirit. ( Featured by coshdaddy )
:iconanotherphilip:
anotherphilip Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2008  Student General Artist
This is no doubt a wonderful poem! It's very inspirational.
[link] [link]
Thanks for the inspiration. I hope you like my designs!

:handshake:
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:iconangelfire8376:
AngelFire8376 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
Very well writen.. Good Job.. Fav..
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:iconsweetcapris:
sweetcapris Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2007
Absolutely amazing rhythm!!! wow! and you've never sacrificed the story to fit the meter! this has honestly got me excited for Christmas already. Great, great poem.
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:iconsleepingsoul7:
sleepingsoul7 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2006   Writer
nice flow and rhyme.;
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:icons0lidsn4k3:
s0lidsn4k3 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2006
This is awe inspiring. Just simply magnificient.

I was a little pissed for being passed up during Litmas, but I feel just fine, now, because you won, instead of I....and you deserved the fuck out of it. :+fav:
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:iconterinda:
Terinda Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2006
I just checked Litmas winners a few moments ago and I'd consider this one as winning poem, its really lovely. Cheers and Happy new year!
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:iconaugustoffline:
augustoffline Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2005
My god this is a great work of poetry. I have to tell you it is beyond a winner here. This is something I could imagine being told by christmas goers for years to come. Thank you very much for sharing your talent.
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2005
I'm glad you think so, thank you.
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:iconladydragonbane:
ladydragonbane Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
I like it
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:iconsoutherngothgal:
SouthernGothGal Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005   Writer
reminds me of why i used to love christmas.
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:iconjazencrou:
Jazencrou Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
I love rhyme and I especially love the rhyme in this, because it's all over the place. :heart: I really like the interior rhyme and the vocabulary. I like how Christmastime is near for the entire poem and then in the end, it's here.

Very very nice poem. -nodnod- Can't put into words how much I like it.
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Yeah I really get a kick out of internal rhyming. And you noticed the near-near-near-here pattern, too! Very observant! Thank you.
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:iconjphnx22:
jphnx22 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Simply lovely to read :)
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Thank you! Very cool icon by the way, I love phoenixes.
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:iconamethystlightning:
AmethystLightning Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005  Student
Brilliant :D
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Haha, thanks. :-)
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:iconadiah147:
adiah147 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Wow, this is a lovely poem!!! I really feel the Christmas spirit and holoiday cheer. Excellent rhymes and I love the metaphors you put into it. Well done and Happy Holidays!~ :santa::snowflake::rudolph:
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Thank you! Merry Christmas to you too.
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:iconadiah147:
adiah147 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
:hug:
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:iconkatamari2:
katamari2 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Congrats on the DD! This deserves it!
--Katamari
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Thank you, I'm glad you think so.
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:iconsapphireice:
SapphireIce Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005   Writer
Beautiful! Congrats on the DD! :w00t: :snowing:
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Thanks a lot!
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:iconbelladagio:
belladagio Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Kudos on placing in the Litmas Contest. This piece is one I read before the judging took place and it stood out to me. I really like the rhythm and bounce of it.

I didn't much care for the way the first three stanzas started with the word "Now". I felt like the word was simply added to keep the rhythm, but it seems superfluous to the actual content of each line it starts. I think the quality of the poem would be better served by changing that somehow.

The ending disappointed me a bit. It seemed saccharine and cliche-ish, although it was a nice sentiment. Somehow, though, it seemed more of an attempt to wrap up the poem quickly then something that just automatically flowed whilst you were writing.

Of course, these are just my opinions and all in all, this is a nice tight piece with plenty of appeal. I enjoyed it--thank you for sharing it with everyone. :)
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Yeah, the ending... I agree completely about the ending. It's a neat little package but there's not much inside. To be honest I was at a loss throughout the whole poem for what to say, because I never had any over-arching theme except for "make it Christmasy" - that is the biggest problem with the poem, in my opinion. As for the word "now," it *was* introduced as an aid to the meter, but having said that, I think it works because it emphasizes the fact that each stanza is moving forward in time toward Christmas - just as the first three stanzas end with "Christmas-time is *near*" and the last ends with "Christmas-time is *here*". But no doubt there was a more word-efficient way to convey that concept.

Thanks for the critique!
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:iconrot10:
rot10 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
merry xmas and a happy new year to you! congrats! such a touching piece! :D it makes me cold and all fuzzy. in a nice way. woot woot it doesn't snow here see. haha. anyway yeehaa. congrats again. :D :smooch:
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Actually I'm in Texas right now, it doesn't snow much here either... but I'm used to Ohio weather, so I have quite a bit of experience with snow. "Cold and fuzzy," that's a great description, thank you!
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:iconrot10:
rot10 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
hehe wow. so hey there cowboy hehe. :D that's what i know about texas. and the chicken wings. lovely and ooh the crispness of its ____ hmmmm...

you're welcome dear. and woot.

have a happy new year! :smooch:

and i'll be reading more of your works! haha so you have a new hmm rar spaceship circling your head! haha :D
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:iconhollyyy:
Hollyyy Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005   Writer
fantastique. it just works so well when you read it to yourself. :heart:
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Thanks!
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:iconplornt:
Plornt Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Truly amazing stuff there, keep it up! :)
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Thank you! (Must look away... Seizure icon is killing me...) :-)
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:iconplornt:
Plornt Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
Yes its gone now :D
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:iconsorrowisapanther:
sorrowisapanther Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
There's something so terribly beautiful and captivating about the rhythm in this poem.

It's no wonder people used to think spells were rhyming words... how well you've managed to sync this poem--rhyme for rhythm--has me spell-bound!

Cheers for this fantastic poem and the fantastic writer who wrote it!
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2005
I know what you mean about rhythm - there's just something...compelling about it. I mean, look at the Beatles - half their songs made no sense but they sounded great because they got a good rhythm and good music.

Thanks for commenting!
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:iconzebrazebrazebra:
zebrazebrazebra Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2005  Professional Writer
Yup, this really is sublime; not to mention some of the best and most tightly structured metre I've read in a long time. Speaking as a picky syllable-counter, it wams my heart.
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2005
Hahah... being picky about syllable counts is my job. If nothing else I can always have a solid meter, right? Thanks!
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:iconzebrazebrazebra:
zebrazebrazebra Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2006  Professional Writer
Absolutely! And I must have been out of it when I said it 'wam'ed my heart. Make that 'warm', or possibly 'wham.' By the way, I scrolled down and saw the stuff about the 'now' and wanted to say I actually really thought it worked; quite apart from anything else, it gave it that whole sing-song saga effect.
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:iconmystwilliams:
MystWilliams Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2005   Writer
Awesome work. Congrats.
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2005
Thanks!
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:iconmetalhead71:
Metalhead71 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2005
Very good,I love christmas rhymes. I was pushing myself to keep up with it because of all of its thoughtful rhymes lol. I'm amazed at how much you got into it and how many rhymes you thought up. The only thing that seemed odd was the bounce of the rhythm,because since its a christmas time rhyme I tried reading it that way with a flow of the christmas spirit. A few lines kind of distorted the flow of the poem to me, like "Will fill with stuff – oh, soon enough". It is most likely inproper but would "Will fill with stuff,Soon enough" have been better? when i see oh, i stop and pause at oh.

This is all just babbling really,Im not a very decent poem writer. But I still really liked the poem and I was impressed you did such a great merry time christmas poem.
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:iconbbd127:
bbd127 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2005
Glad you liked it! The "oh" was meant to be more of an indication of emotion or excitement than a stopping-point but I guess it's hard to convey that through writing.
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