Poetry entry for the Merry Litmas 2005 DA contest. (Took 3rd place.)
(Update: a big thanks to coshdaddy for featuring this poem as a Daily Deviation!)
The wonderful imagery and tight, well-executed metre is what put Christmas-time by ~bbd127 into the rankings (3rd place) of the Merry Litmas contest. Take a tumble through this cheerful chronicle of Christmas spirit. (
My god this is a great work of poetry. I have to tell you it is beyond a winner here. This is something I could imagine being told by christmas goers for years to come. Thank you very much for sharing your talent.
I love rhyme and I especially love the rhyme in this, because it's all over the place. I really like the interior rhyme and the vocabulary. I like how Christmastime is near for the entire poem and then in the end, it's here.
Very very nice poem. -nodnod- Can't put into words how much I like it.
Kudos on placing in the Litmas Contest. This piece is one I read before the judging took place and it stood out to me. I really like the rhythm and bounce of it.
I didn't much care for the way the first three stanzas started with the word "Now". I felt like the word was simply added to keep the rhythm, but it seems superfluous to the actual content of each line it starts. I think the quality of the poem would be better served by changing that somehow.
The ending disappointed me a bit. It seemed saccharine and cliche-ish, although it was a nice sentiment. Somehow, though, it seemed more of an attempt to wrap up the poem quickly then something that just automatically flowed whilst you were writing.
Of course, these are just my opinions and all in all, this is a nice tight piece with plenty of appeal. I enjoyed it--thank you for sharing it with everyone.
Yeah, the ending... I agree completely about the ending. It's a neat little package but there's not much inside. To be honest I was at a loss throughout the whole poem for what to say, because I never had any over-arching theme except for "make it Christmasy" - that is the biggest problem with the poem, in my opinion. As for the word "now," it *was* introduced as an aid to the meter, but having said that, I think it works because it emphasizes the fact that each stanza is moving forward in time toward Christmas - just as the first three stanzas end with "Christmas-time is *near*" and the last ends with "Christmas-time is *here*". But no doubt there was a more word-efficient way to convey that concept.
Actually I'm in Texas right now, it doesn't snow much here either... but I'm used to Ohio weather, so I have quite a bit of experience with snow. "Cold and fuzzy," that's a great description, thank you!
I know what you mean about rhythm - there's just something...compelling about it. I mean, look at the Beatles - half their songs made no sense but they sounded great because they got a good rhythm and good music.
Absolutely! And I must have been out of it when I said it 'wam'ed my heart. Make that 'warm', or possibly 'wham.' By the way, I scrolled down and saw the stuff about the 'now' and wanted to say I actually really thought it worked; quite apart from anything else, it gave it that whole sing-song saga effect.
Very good,I love christmas rhymes. I was pushing myself to keep up with it because of all of its thoughtful rhymes lol. I'm amazed at how much you got into it and how many rhymes you thought up. The only thing that seemed odd was the bounce of the rhythm,because since its a christmas time rhyme I tried reading it that way with a flow of the christmas spirit. A few lines kind of distorted the flow of the poem to me, like "Will fill with stuff oh, soon enough". It is most likely inproper but would "Will fill with stuff,Soon enough" have been better? when i see oh, i stop and pause at oh.
This is all just babbling really,Im not a very decent poem writer. But I still really liked the poem and I was impressed you did such a great merry time christmas poem.